ring

I long for the day I will hear my name called atrue. To hear, unfettered, the voice of the one who knows it as it bleeds upon His hand. He calls it even now but I stop my ears. One day water shall cleanse my ears of their deafness. One day I shall know my name from the lips of my namer.

I have long sought my name—my true name. I go from door to door as a beggar, needing the food from each table. And people have gifted me names. Oh I have so many names: names of a lord, names of a tyrant, names born of spring, names dying in winter. There are names that I fancy and flourish, and names I fear and hide. True and false, they are not my name. And still I seek, unsated.

And I hear not His tears as He watches my quest. He would grant what I seek as I beg from another. How long will I listen to liars? How long will I feast from the waste? How long shall I dress in the clothes of a fool?

Grant me my name as a ring of redemption. Grant me my name as the robe of a son. Turn my feet from my infantile wandering. Turn my eyes to Your unquenchable sun. In Your courts shall I know my answers. In Your house will I finally be home.

5 comments:

Skip said...

I like the narrative in this one. It seems... cleaner somehow. I think it is the flow of it. It just feels good. Good use of language and movement throughout.

AedonTor said...

I use more simple sentences, and only made up 3 words this time. Whereas usually I am throwing way too many words and overwrought metaphors at the reader. And also trying to see what I can get away with removing. Still, I don't think the lack of chaos helped this piece. It is an idea in my head that I couldn't craft into anything worth note, in my opinion. And I think that lack of inspiration just bore itself out as simpler 'cleanness.'

AedonTor said...

I should clarify, my 'throwing words' comment. More I just try and crash them together and try something different with them. And I muddle the content because of it. It probably comes from not having anything worth telling that I feel the need to make the telling more crazy. I would not say I am overly wordy. Just jumbled and chaotic.

Skip said...

I think your negative view of your writing is unwarranted and over thought. I find all of your stuff compelling in different ways. The thing I liked particularly about this one was its flow and language (clean not meaning simple but cohesive), not saying that I do not like that of your other stuff, just what popped in this piece... in a good way.

AedonTor said...

Actually I think we mean the same thing in terms of simple and cohesive. At least similar things.