analytics

ink

Ink in drops upon the paper. A shadow, a shade amongst bright snow. A scar. Then a blot. Into a hungry maw. Now a fount in torrent black, the ink. Tendrils and wings of charcoal's breath in liquid movement. A feast upon the fields of white. A march, a crash, an onslaught upon the innocence. Dirge of black water. The stain of death upon the day. To all ends, the reach of dark. One last bastion. A moon within the night. The fount in victory, a drop, a drop. Into a point of light. A drop. A glimmer. The final drop in height. But not of black. A tear of blood. A crown of death. Upon the page.

It splashes into the black wash, that inkéd blood.

And no more day. All the page of night. Death. The silence of sight. But then a murmur. A glint. The whisper of a light in dance. A sparkling flurry. The page in prismatic glory eats upon the prison of dark. Cascading celebration in riotous abandon. Lights, oh marvelous lights, in living display. The page reborn with wings of refracting daylight. Infant and ancient, it is phoenix crowned in all spectrum. All darkness transformed into liquid light. Into beauty it flies, evermore.

2 comments:

Mary Massie said...

Yay so glad you're back! loved the tendrils and wings sentence definately sparked my imagination can't wait to read more

Skip said...

Sorry that I have not gotten to this sooner. Although I know we discussed most of my thoughts in person, here is what I have:

I like the mirroring of the dark and the light in that both share a lot of imagery (the subtle build of small things to enveloping things, wings, liquid, and eating) but they remain distinctly separate and the light is superior which I think is particularly set off by the use of the word 'evermore' at the end. I think it adds a lot to the image that the light will not be subject to the same fate as the dark.

I also liked the usage of the short burst sentences. They give a tension and building and I totally envision a moment of silence (nothing but the drop) in the break. Beautiful.

The only complaint I would have is about the shift from light to dark. I cannot narrow it down but I feel like I just kind of fall into it. Something in the flow. I don't feel like there is a back and forth on either side of the middle break, which is cool, but doesn't seem to match with the story of the drop disappearing.

Anyway, that is it for now. Hope you find my feedback useful. On to the next post!