Their trust condemns me the liar.  I see their eyes release fears to the wind.  At the sight of me, they know that all are safe; the monsters are vanquished.  I cannot fail them, I cannot fail their safety, so their shining hope cries.  And so this cry of their joy crushes me, the child in this shell of my master.

With his colors, I hide me.  Under his shield, I tremble.  Do they not see this squire boy?  I pray they reveal my weakness; with all my slender might, I grasp to my deception.  See me not!  Please, see me no more.  I am not your savior.  I am feeble.  My master's hide nearly topples me, alone.  I have no peace to give you.

All at once their needs are expelled, and I am called to take this weight upon me.  How can they not see my weakness?  I cannot bear their burden.  I am a child.  I do not know the cost of life.  But I see their relief.  They have shed their coming pain.  They are free, and I am shackled.

In a burst of truth, I lift my visor.  This is whom you trust!  Can you not see?  I do not fill this mask.  I am beardless and lost.  I am not he.  And yet... you treat my face as a blessing, a favor.  A cheer. A cheer of rejoicing goes up: a cheer of salvation.

Who? I scan the throng for my betrayer.  But the mass takes up the song.  They sing of me.  I must tell them; I cannot tell them.  I am as trapped by body and song.

They hear not my name.  They do not know the song of my hands.  They see my master.  They see their dragons and they see this shield.  They throw their lives to my hands to lift.  But my strength is spent in lifting my lies above my head.  I cannot catch you.  Find another.  I am spent.  I am lost.

But I am trapped in this false face.  Lost in their wind, I am lifted and pushed.  Onward, towards the unescapable door.  The door that is not for me, and for no other.  Onward, to betray and fail them.

Onward, ever on.

No comments: