I have walked a hundred years, and slept one hundred more. I was given a dream in youth which has fed me all these days: a feast of wishes, longings, and straw. A golden vision of twisted sunlight which yet cast a shadow upon my face. An idea that lies deeper in me than I can bring to bear in words. Deeper still is this ache within me than my ancient heart. The almost grasped like the secrets of life that fade in the midst of waking. A slender song dancing upon the wind behind me. I have sought you all these suns, cried to every moon. I rent open hallowed peace in search. I tranquil laid in torture and endurance, waiting for your word.

I stood upon the Aithoran when it was still dry and wild. The lost fields of white gave me a name. I rode upon the gates of Hiedoroth, and alone I lived but not for courage. Upon the heroes' blood I received a curse. I climbed the walls of King Bezhon and stole his Silver Flame. Yes, the treacherous thief who started the War of the Sands, it was me. And for the countless dead, I received a promise unfulfilled. I hid in the Hollow Caves and found their Secret long buried. It could break the world if unleashed, but I simply told it my quest. And I was granted a riddle. Do you know all this?

I have seen history unfold, I have crossed all the maps of this world, I have mapped yet more, but still your fey steps allude me. I can hear the ringing of your feet, and your gentle laugh as a gift in my turmoil. I have surrendered my hope of you every night. And then I remember my thirst at the break of the sun. A lie or a truth: you are both, I see that now.

And upon this wall I sit, my beard upon my knees. Cliffs before me; the Long Valley below me. I consider falling to end this forever quest. But then I hear my name upon your lips called from the trail below. And I rise to follow.


The Venerable Monster said...

That my favorite thing you've ever written? I think so. I feel like I say that often, but that was amazing. So many questions I want answers to. Such great imagery in my mind. A full saga in moments. Argh, nevermind, I don't think anything I'm typing is really conveying how much I like this or how it made me feel reading.

Skip said...

Nice. I like the mysteriousness of both the narrator and the person mentioned and the use of things that aid that are the naming of specific things (Aithoran, Hiedoroth, etc.) which help in giving a sense of a bigger world. Definitely piques interest and desire to know more. Good hook, it's so open but gives the sense of being established.

I like the idea of the "quest" being everlasting in the narrator's mind and yet renewed every day so that he continues regardless. I think this could be added to if it were elaborated that he would not actually throw himself down in the last paragraph, but perhaps you like it that way.

I cannot think of many comments on structure at this time but I like it and this is more an independent style and flows nicely. Good work.